tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2007://6 2007-10-03T06:55:31Z Movable Type 3.33 tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2007://6.540 2007-10-03T05:31:28Z 2007-10-03T06:55:31Z

So I am shopping at walmart for fabric softener when i discover I am actually looking at dishwasher liquid. Why yes, my local walmart thinks it is a good idea to have the dishwashing liquid right next to the fabric...

]]> tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2007://6.536 2007-09-20T02:06:49Z 2007-09-20T02:33:30Z

I was sitting on the floor tonight, actually laying and lois was laying on top of me giggling and i was trying to talk and she rolled her big old head overtop of my mouth and for a moment i...

1. I love lois when she knows moses is about to come into the living room she runs towards the gate on her tippy toes. She can also run like a wild child at times and is now nicknamed crazy legs.
2. I love caleb and his excitement with his hand me down bikes he likes to ride in the grass in our back yard. I must say he can somehow get more grease on his hands in one day then i have had on my body my whole life, heh.
3. I love miriam and her work ethic and the fact she is a night owl like me.
4. I love Shelly and the fact that most of the time when i want to spend money on a crazy scheme like buying time share(no i did not) she will be excited for me and want me to be happy. even though she somewhat rolls her eyes.
5. I love ruth, she is one pretty little girl and a clothes fiend. I can not wait to see how much money she costs me in clothes in the next decade.
6. I love elsie, she has my sense of humor. The poor girl is condemned to a life of sarcasm. :) She has a heart of gold like her mom.
7. I love lois and when she is tired she will crawl up on my lap as i work and make a nest and go to sleep. I also can not believe at 17 months she tells me that she wants me to turn on a kids show for her.
8. I love miriam she is quick to laugh and have a good time.
9. I love ruth and how she is a flirt batting her eyelashes and acting as cute as can be while she secretly tries to sneak a pen into the other room by hiding it in her pants.
10. I love that i got to work with caleb this week on his F words,we did sentences like five fingered fred farts.
11. I love that shelly will fall asleep on the sofa holding ruth & lois while i work at night. Ruth & lois both will sleep on top of shelly and sometimes our cat sniff will make his way onto the sofa too. Can't help but make me smile.
12. I love that when i am having a bad day, that elsie always tells me she loves me and tries to cheer me up.
13. I also never thought i could be so proud and excited for my children as i watch them swim in their races. I am not much of a sport fan but when my precious ones are swimming their hardest I am overcome with some sort of sporting father syndrome and can't help but be happy and excited for them, GO, GO ,GO!
There are many more, but these are a few of the things i thought of tonight. I am a very lucky man. ]]> tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2007://6.514 2007-06-30T21:35:37Z 2007-07-03T01:02:14Z

well I have been preparing for this day I guess since the day my last phone busted in November 2006. I knew there were some rumors flying that Apple might release an Apple branded cellphone in January. So there was...

So I called verzion and found out i could get out of my contract in March and figured if Jobs announced a phone in January they would take that long to get them on the shelves. So I waited.
January came and Apple surprised the world with an even cooler phone than I thought they would. Within days it was on the want list of every techie, spoiled teen and me. Within minutes of watching the keynote I made the decision to wait for the iPhone. Scarifying Cell service for the revolutionary new phone.
When Jobs announced a June release I had hoped for june 15-20 something mid month. Making me less busy and at home to acquire the phone. My hopes were dashed a few weeks ago when they announced a June 29 release.
On June 29 I was to be at Creation East in the middle of nowhere PA. So not to be stopped I went to AT&T and did a radius search of Agape Farm. Found 3 AT&T stores about an hour drive away. 2 in Altoona and 1 in Chambersburg. I immediately determined Chambersburg was my best bet. I would leave Creation at 3am in the morning drive to Chambersburg and camp at the store till it opened at 10am, hopefully being close to the front of the line. I then called Chambersburg Store and found out they were in a mall. This caused me to re-think my plans. Plan #1 needed some revision.
I called the mall that the store was in an found out they opened at 9am and the stores opened at 10am. I was concerned cause if i waited outside the mall and then had to run to the store at 9 i would get beat out by tons of faster people. This made me sad. Plan #2 out the window.
I then found out the mall had a morning walker program that for $3 you could join and get into the mall at 8am with membership. So my plans were starting to get deviously creative. I was gonna drive to chambersburg and join the walking club so I could get in the mall an hour early, walk the mall and figure out what my pace should be so that at 9am i would be walking passed the AT&T store and be the first in line with the rest of the chumps running and jockeying for position when the mall opened for normal people. *sigh*.
Then the next news at ADC steve slipped a quick 6pm after he said June 29. I was like NO not 6pm that means plan 3 will not work and totally changes the morning strategy Plan #3 done. The next day several news outlets reported that steve was joking. ooo Plan 3 was back. Nope they were wrong but he end of the day 6pm was a concrete time. Plan #3 was toast.
So again there was time to rethink. I decided to ditch the mall stores and go for a a stand alone store. I could only find 1. So my plans changed again. I called the store confirmed that they thought they would be getting the phone, the guy said sure and i asked him a few questions. The line was gonna be outside with the store closing at 4pm and re-opening at 6pm. But how would i be able to gauge when to get to the store. and would people still line up over night and sit all day? big question.
So I then decided since i was gonna be at creation with my ticketing equipment. I would take my lawn-chair and a marine battery and my laptop and if i could find wifi i would work and if not I would watch the office and laugh. So plan 4 was shaping up!
Today I left creation at 11:40am and drove to Altoona arrived about 12:30 and found 3 other people sitting in lawnchairs in front of the store facing the highway. The first person in line was a 14 year old boy wearing a "i think therefore imac" shirt and holding a mac world magazine. His mom was out buying him food and his dad swung by in his cadillac to offer his support of junior getting his phone. I from now on will call him the cadillac kid. The next person in line was grandma. A 65yo+ lady sitting in line for her grandson who was obviously too busy and spoiled to do it for himself. (hereafter known as granny). Number 3 in line was a guy with ADD and a trigger happy mouth. He continuously spouted facts about the iphone misc. BS that I (the knower of all iphone trivia) found to be wrong or fabricated stuff. I then set up my chair and became #4. Being number 4 was a good thing. The AT&T store decided to let 4 people into the store at a time which makes me in the first group of recipients.
Well without too much more wait number 5 showed up and then 6 and 7. They are all college age guys who brought there nintendos and laptops. I then threw on my headphones and pt on some tobyMac and grooved to portable sounds. what a great CD. And of coarse I am typing all my thoughts as a sit. I am glad i have headphones. Caddy boy and BS'er continue to spout iphone info and make guess as to what will happen. My favorites are that a delivery man delivered a safe with all the iphones in it a few days ago and tonight at 5:45 the store manager will get a call with the code. (where do they find this crap?)
now my play by play
ok Caddy boy has now replaced mr. BS as most annoying person in line. Grandma and caddy boys mom just suck in all the BS facts and conjecture that are being thrown around. headphones back on. the time is now 2:40pm.
Ok the rent-a-cop just showed up and was greeted by the store manager that looks like barbie. took of headphones to hear stuff. now involved in more rumor chat. college nintendo boys now chatting. nothing new. i know more than all of them. :P 2:55pm
slick sales boy came out and asked us to remove our cars from the front of the store and told us at 6pm they will be serving water and apples. someone asked him if he has seen it yet. he claimed no one will that they are all in sealed bags and will be sold that way. Barbie is back out instructing rent-a-cop. he doesn't have a gun but he is a big boy. he has not taken a stance at the front of the line with both hands on his hips. heh 2:57pm.
Guy in a BMW arrives to wait. Guy in Audi arrives to wait. must be getting off work early. Some lady arrives asks barbie questions and then walks around. definitely this is a man's phone. and the women that are here so far are waiting with or on behalf of men. 2:59pm
barbie came out with her samsung phone and took a picture of her line. She seems pleased with herself and her line. totally sucks that there is no wifi here. 3:10pm
local news station pulled in :/ MR. BS just said one of the reasons he wants the iphone today is so he can impress people the next few weeks. ugh. now everyone talking about how valuable the phone will be. yeah, $599. 3:16pm
Caddy boy is being interviewed for the 6 o'clock news. newsman said the mayor of philadelphia is waiting in line for an iphone. ooooo store is due to close in 33 minutes. 3:57pm
Two more newspapers have shown up interviewed caddy boy and grandma. I try to not look at the news people hoping they pass me by. the guy a few down in line went in the store and got a treo for 99 under a 2 year contract. Then at 6 he will buy an iphone and when you buy an iphone they wipe out your previous obligation and start at 2 years again. So he will get the treo for 99 and then sell it on ebay. and he hopes to make $200. We shall see. store closed 4:30pm
another rent a cop showed up, that makes two, BS man got out of his chair to smoke a few and talk to the rent a cops, marriage made in heaven. Barbie appeared to tell us 4 at a time in the store they are prepping now. She also brought us cold bottled water. She also informed us that news coverage is big and we are lucky. the other store in town in the mall is swamped with many more people than are here and places like pittsburgh and state college they are wrapped around the block. I am not surprised. I picked this specific place because i thought my chances would be best. and it is paying off. 4:56pm
btw i am watching the office and i find it to be very funny. can not believe i waited this long to watch it. Mr. BS is sad that there are not hundreds of people here. He really wants to feel important by being in front of hundreds of people. I am like who cares. just be happy all 50 of us get a phone. or whatever. caddy, granny and BS made bets when the next person would show up. the earliest bet was 10 minutes. more people came a minute later. 5:02pm.
Someone drove by and yelled, get a job. if they knew what the people in line were spending they would have appeared smarter had they said 'get a life'. most people toot and waive. 5:04pm
person in a car passes store and then backs up in the turning lane, dangerous. & bmw guy #2 5:09pm
people calling their friends that are in line telling them they saw them on the news, our immediate society. 5:12pm
Lady with 5 kids arrives, sheesh who has five kids anymore. that is a bunch. And if you are buying them all iphones holy smokes. barbie now is talking to rent a cops. Mr BS man is thinking about going over to them again. go, go quickly. NOt sure what they are setting up inside, Whatever it is barbie doesn't need to helphelp obviously. 5:15pm
MR. BS is UP! 5:16pm
Took battery back to vehicle 5:28pm
so caddy boy showed up at 6am this morning, i showed up at 12:30. 6.5 hours got caddy boy 1st place but i am in the same group of 4 with him. So not bad, however if i had been 10 minutes alter i would be in group 2. 5:37pm
ok doors opened at 6:00PM. rushed in with first 4. grabbed phone and ran. was out the door at 6:05PM. was a bit not pleased with the fact that i needed an internet connection to register the phone. great idea. but being an hour away from internet i was not happy.
now someday i will tell you what else happened tome after this. but now i am playing with my new iphone :)
]]> tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2007://6.505 2007-06-03T04:28:51Z 2007-06-03T04:47:18Z

So my dear cousin Dave got married today and i was lucky enough to be invited. Dave is a good man, loves God and his new wife. I have faith they will be together unitl the death do we part...

ok, now on with my blog. So while at the reception we sat next to the bathroom doors. Which was very cool cause we have 5 kids that love to go to the bathroom. But The bad side was the logic of the people who needed to go to the bathroom.
The bathrooms were unisex and there were two of them next to each other and they were full most of the time. When both bathrooms were full, the next person to walk up to the bathroom would knock on door #1, upon not hearing anything(over the noise & music) they would push the door to see if it opened. When it didn't open they would push again, step back, look at the door and attempt a third push. When the third push which they would really put their full body weight into did not work they would try door #2. They would knock, push, push, look, and really push. Didn't they learn their lesson at door #1?
What were these people thinking? the door did not open, could someone be locked in doing thier business? i guess the door jsut must be stuck I should push harder. Hrm there are 150 people here what are the chances someone else is using the bathroom, nah, i bet the door is stuck if i push with all my body weight I can unlodge it and then i can go to the bathroom.
Anyway i watched this for atleast 3 hours. It got to the point at the second push I would just explain to the people that the bathrooms were occupied. You would have thought I told them aliens had landed outside, one guy tried another push after i gave him the info at which time i repeated myself louder.
But what takes the cake was one lady who was sure i had no clue. She looked at me, looked at the doors and tried them again and again. What do you think she was thinking? hrm?
All this and there wasn't even a drop of booze in the building.]]> tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2007://6.352 2007-02-13T04:40:16Z 2007-02-19T05:56:04Z

Well this was the day everyone was waiting for, so if it is downhill from here there is a reason. Today we docked in the Bahamas. It was cloudy and overcast and most everything on the island where we were...

Once everyone was awake and we ate we headed to deck 0 were we walked off the boat. When you walk off the baot they scan your room card to know you left. We then waited for about 20 minutes for the bus to take us to the dolphins. When it arrived we got on and it was about a 30 minute trip to Unexso. The bus dropped us off at the gift shop, we exchanged our tickets for wristbands and were sent out ont he deck to wait for a boat to take us to the dolphins. We waited about 15 more minutes the baot came and took us on a 20 minute trip through the made made canals to the dolphin bay. The canals were lined with million dollar houses which were interesting to look at.
When we got to the bay we were lead to a few picnic tables that overlooked the dolphin area which was pretty big. We were then greated by trainers and take down to the dock to sit. We were cautioned not to bring good cameras to the docks, but i took my digital anyway.
Once we were sitting they brough in 2 dolphins, both of which starred in movies. They told us about them then took people in groups of 4 to get in the water and pet and interact with the dolphins. OUr family was second. Everone got in minus me and lolo. I stayed and watched her and took pictures. I think everyone was very happy with the dolphin encounter. Elsie and Mimi were a bit scared at first but warmed up quickly. We then took a boat back to the gift shop and then a bus back to the boat. We could have shopped a little bit but i had my fill of activity and everyone was hungry so we grabbed a late lunch on the lido deck buffet and went to our room to relax.
We took showers, then We explored the ship a bit got our bearrings and did a bit of on board shopping. Then off to dinner which was a formal night (suit & tie) food was good. We then crashed early. ]]> tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2007://6.351 2007-02-12T03:11:25Z 2007-02-19T05:39:34Z

So last night after arriving in Ft. Lauderdale we sought out the cruise terminal and marked it on our GPS so we could find it in the AM. We then went to our hotel for the night. a very uneventful...

We then followed the signs for VIP check in. that was a cool blessing cause we avoided a ton of lines other people were in. We went through our check in and got our Sail-and-Sign cards from a carnival employee. these cards got us into our room and also were for buying things on board. So pretty much they hooked them up to our debit card.

We then walked on board. When we got onboard they took our pictures and electronically matched them to our sail and sign cards for security purposes. We were not allowed in our rooms until 1:30 so we went to the lido deck to eat food.

They had a buffet/cafeteria style selection of salad, main dishes and fresh fruit. they also had another area where you could go choose between 3-4 deserts. To be honest nothing too special. The desserts reminded me of the desserts that our local chinese buffet puts out. Some sort of layered cake with fluff in between the layers, more pretty than tasty.

After lunch we went to our rooms. Went out on the balcony and took some pictures of the other ships etc. We then went to a meeting for camp carnival. They introduced themselves to the group of us and had us sign our kids up for activities. IF you know Shelly and I we do not trust our kids with many people and had no need tos end our kids off to camp carnival. And I was slightly turned off by the counselors asking the parents to cheer because they could get rid of there kids. Some lady in the back was hooping it up cause she couldn't wait to unload her kid. This left a bad taste in my mouth. I wanted camp carnival to be something my kids want to do. Not something I wanted them to do so i could selfishly go on my way. Anyway more on this later.

After the meeting we went to our room got all dressed up and went to dinner. Our dinner was at 8:00pm ever night in the silver dining room. We had two waiters one that smiled and one that did not. The food was served in four courses (appetizer, salad, main, dessert). Once again nothing stupendous, just ok food.

We then turned in for the evening cause tomorrow is dolphin day in the bahamas. ]]> tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2007://6.349 2007-02-11T14:03:01Z 2007-02-11T14:14:54Z

Well while in florida i thought i could surprise or freak out my cousin tim with a random cisit to his house. We got the address from grandma and with the help of GPS we found his place. knocked on...

]]> tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2007://6.348 2007-02-11T13:54:59Z 2007-02-11T13:55:22Z

will have to work on that....

will have to work on that. tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2006://6.346 2006-09-21T04:34:54Z 2007-02-11T13:47:51Z

My biggest nightmare is for people to know how much i really weigh. yeah i know I am stupid. Obviously I walk around all fat, but putting a number on it is just too much for me to bear so...

My biggest nightmare is for people to know how much i really weigh. yeah i know I am stupid. Obviously I walk around all fat, but putting a number on it is just too much for me to bear so it seems. I have been able to admit to my weight in the past but always in, this is what i used to weigh. . . . Never have i felt comfortable telling people what i weight today. Currently I am very embarrassed with myself, I am coming up on my 3rd year anniversary of when i started my new lean and mean lifestyle. Three years ago on Oct 1. I weighed almost 400lbs. Not the heaviest I had ever been. I once tipped the scales a 406. In the course of the next nine months I dropped my weight to 230lbs. and stayed at that weight for several months then i slowly* added it back on. In the 18 months or so I have managed to put almost every pound back on reaching 376.6 this past weekend. ashamed? oh yeah! mucho stick your head in the ground don't come up forever ashamed. How could someone blow it. One of Shelly's relatives stopped by the house this summer and went off on me. She is the blunt type and she bluntly told me i was an idiot. I had gained so much health wise and then I blew it. She was right, the truth hurt, I hated her for a few days. How she said it wasn't the nicest, but I appreciated her thought behind it all. It was kindness for me that motivated her harsh words. Anyway she could never beat me up as bad as I have beaten myself. so be it. So there yeah have it a slice of my thoughts. I weighed 376.6 this past weekend. Today as of weighing I am 363.1 so I have lost 13lbs. Mind you it was all stored up water weight. Somewhere along the line I peed a gallon and a half of weight off of me. So my secret is out, now you know with facts what you have witnessed with your eyes I am one large boy. and here i go again. tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2006://6.345 2006-09-17T17:13:02Z 2007-02-11T13:47:50Z

Well i have not posted in a long time, funny thing is i have made hundreds of posts in my head, just that when i get to my computer time is too precious to waste on blogging. however, i kinda...

Well i have not posted in a long time, funny thing is i have made hundreds of posts in my head, just that when i get to my computer time is too precious to waste on blogging. however, i kinda strted blogging when i was working on my weight. which is now out of control. so perhpas i will take a few out to blog about my life as i struggle with working on my weight. who knows it might work. tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2006://6.344 2006-05-30T00:27:08Z 2007-02-11T13:47:50Z

ok this is a small test to see if blogging is working again for this account....

ok this is a small test to see if blogging is working again for this account. tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2005://6.343 2005-10-10T21:53:09Z 2007-02-11T13:47:49Z

Trusting in God will provide the greatest reward. This is a hard one. I took a few minutes to pray today and as I was praying the above statement hit me. Not like I haven't heard it before, but it...

Trusting in God will provide the greatest reward. This is a hard one. I took a few minutes to pray today and as I was praying the above statement hit me. Not like I haven't heard it before, but it came as a very good reminder to me and at the perfect time and I needed to hear it, today. I had talked with some friends this past weekend about our incredible head knowledge we have in Christ and what know we are called to do as Christians. And just like an unsaved person who knows the plan of salvation until we move our knowledge from our head to our heart it is pretty useless. As I thought about our conversation a bit more, I think the word that was missing was trust. I think we don't take all of our head knowledge and apply it cause we don't trust God enough. Now I am not gonna go into a whole sermon on this issue, but I have decided it is all about trust. If we really trusted God and His word it would be FACT in our lives and if it was fact we would act on it in confidence, but instead we trust ourselves, taking matters in our own hands. I don't know about everyone else but, I can't believe I trust myself and my ways over God's cause I know what a big bozo I am, and I am definately not to be trusted. So today I find myself wanting to and knowing I need to trust God more. so be it. tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2005://6.342 2005-10-06T04:17:29Z 2007-02-11T13:47:49Z

Went to the National Zoo today, got there at 7:00am. Got to see the Panda's grazing that was cool. Saw a ton of other animals. The worst part is that the small mammal house smelled like our cat's litter...

Went to the National Zoo today, got there at 7:00am. Got to see the Panda's grazing that was cool. Saw a ton of other animals. The worst part is that the small mammal house smelled like our cat's litter box on a bad day eeesh. The best part was they have a system of towers that go from one part of the park to another which allows the Orangutans to travel from one habitat to another via ropes which connect the towers, they cross the park basically swinging high above visitors heads. the ropes and towers are so high they do not leave go because they fear falling. anyway perhaps i didn't explain it well but it was cool.


When we got back to the hotel the kids were playing zoo & pirate ship and during the course of play Caleb fell into the door between our bedroom and the living room and gashed his head. Ended up at the emergency room with some staples in his head. Which kinda look like a zipper. All in all he is fine but is afraid people will laugh at him. I said, "I think, people will think it is kinda cool." Just glad he is OK!
]]> tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2005://6.341 2005-10-05T02:21:34Z 2007-02-11T13:47:48Z

see the sniper on the roof of the White House, to the left of the flag, he watched us the whole time. Being the freak I am i was whispering things to him, like: I know you are listening...

see the sniper on the roof of the White House, to the left of the flag, he watched us the whole time. Being the freak I am i was whispering things to him, like: I know you are listening to me with your super sonic listening devices, just wave your hand and acknowledge me. Hey, I know your watching common just one wave. When I turned around there was a cop standing 10 feet behind me smiling. They know me, I am probably in a file somewhere. ;)


This is from our night time trip to DC, we took it all in after dark. climbed the steps of the capitol building, did the vietnam memorial, lincoln memorial, drove passed a bunch of other stuff. Ran around the reflecting pool. no crowds, easy parking. Got back to our hotel close to midnight and realized we had not eaten supper. The only thing that was open was wendy's which was run by the jamaican bob sled team. They need to stick to bobsledding cause the food was, um, bad.

]]> tag:www.onetongorilla.com,2005://6.340 2005-09-15T18:47:09Z 2007-02-11T13:47:48Z

Have a friend who is trying to earn an iPod nano via the freepay site. IF you want to hop on the bandwagon and also help him out. Follow the link to your free nano today: http://ipodnanos.freepay.com/?r=22128295 BTW, aren't they...

http://ipodnanos.freepay.com/?r=22128295 BTW, aren't they cool?]]>